true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
