I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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