my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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