This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
