I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
