Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
