She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize