Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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