Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
