I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
