But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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