I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
