You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
