i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
