...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize