There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Do vagina's smell?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
