I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
