He is an equal opportunity slut.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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