all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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