I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
