Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?

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(410): View more from Maryland

Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

and i looked up. we had an audience...

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(917): View more from New York City

had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.

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(678): View more from Georgia

And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company

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(909): View more from California

I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha

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