still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
