How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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