what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
