U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
