no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
