I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
