fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is it penis luge time yet?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize