Having a random hookup so left but love u
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
