No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
