Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
