wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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