In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
