Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize