did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize