it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize