everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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