Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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