the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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