you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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