Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That's intense
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
