How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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