They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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