She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
