just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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