Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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