There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
