I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
