i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
