it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
