I'm lost and stupid without you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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