Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
