A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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