Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What drink are we having for lunch?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
