I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
