the day after is always just damage control
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
