oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
