I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
