This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
