You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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