Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize